About julesdidlio

I like art books movies TV and culture My Instagram is: @timandericunofficial @southparkunofficial Check out my YouTube page: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxDenti-j8Ytw_l28_1NMCQ email is farley3689@gmail.com and banggang768@yahoo.com

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen


Erotic Asphyxiation AKA ‘breath control play’ is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for the purposes of sexual arousal. People who engage in the activity are called ‘gaspers’. The practice originated in observations of public hangings in Europe where erections and ejaculations were frequently observed. In England, brothel owners experimented with the act of hanging as treatment for impotence in the 1600s – early Viagra! In the late 1700s Kotzwarra requested prostitutes to hang him, sometimes for up to 5 minutes. This eventually led to his death. In the current era, 1,000 Americans die each year from this disturbing act of masturbation.

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The pleasure in this act comes from depriving your brain of oxygen, which is known in medical circles as ‘asphyxia’. By doing this, you experience a euphoria before you lose consciousness. To maximize pleasure derived from the situation, the victim actively masturbates while strangling themselves with cords or suffocating themselves with a plastic bag.

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Cleveland Kidnapper Ariel Castro Succumbed to Autoerotic Asphyxiation

The following are the top three most famous autoerotic asphyxiators, who I am personally dubbing the ‘League of Extraordinary Gentlemen’ for their contributions to humanity:

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An Exclusive Club

3). Our second runner-up in the race for king of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, we have Albert Dekker!

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Oh Hai Mark

Albert Dekker was an American actor and Democratic politician. He was born December 20th, 1905 in Brooklyn, New York. He went to Richmond Hill High School in Queens. Ironically, Rodney Dangerfield and Cyndi Lauper both are also alumni of Dekker’s alma mater.

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Hey Kids Smoking is Cool

Albert married fellow actress Esther Guerini in 1929. He later won a seat in the California State Assembly in 1944 as a Democrat. Rumor has it, a young Bill Clinton idolized Dekker.

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Bill Clinton’s Idol

Tragedy struck in 1957 when Dekker’s 16 year old son John shot himself in the face and died.

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Young Dekker

Tragedy struck again on May 5th, 1968 when Dekker, at the ripe old age of 62, was found by his fiancé Jeraldine Saunders naked, kneeling in his bathtub with a noose, connected to the shower curtain rod, tied tight around his neck .

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Preposterous

Someone wrote “Slave” and “cocksucker” and also drew a vagina on his stomach with lipstick. There were two IV needles sticking out of one of his arms. He was handcuffed, blindfolded, and gagged with a rubber ball and metal wire. Sounds like a slightly disturbing scene, this is a 62 year old man, a grandpa, we’re talking about.

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The Infamy!

Dekker has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame located at the address 6640 Hollywood Blvd.

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Best Alt-Rocker of the 2000’s

2). Our runner-up in the contest to see which Gentleman is most Extraordinary is Michael Hutchence!

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Michael Hutchence Sex God

Michael Hutchence was an Australian musician famous for being the lead singer/songwriter of INXS. He was born January 22nd, 1960 in Sydney, Australia.

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Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe

As a kid, Hutchence spent a few years in Hong Kong. He returned to Australia when he was 12. INXS was officially started in 1977, originally named “The Farris Brothers”.

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Sometime I Just Like to Think

Hutchence had much fame in the 80s as a sex god. INXS has sold over 50 million records. Their best songs are ‘New Sensation’, ‘Suicide Blonde’, ‘Need You Tonight’, ‘What You Need’, and ‘Original Sin’. He also dated Australian musician Kylie Minogue for a stretch.

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Not Sure How He Had His Particular Problem

Five years before he died, Hutchence was assaulted by a cab driver in Denmark. According to his friends, he was never the same again. He also lost his sense of taste and smell from the attack, heightening his other senses.

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For Those About To Rock

He had a daughter, named Tiger Lilly, in 1996 with his long time girlfriend Paula Yates.

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I Feel Like Leather Today

Tragedy struck on November 22nd, 1997  when Hutchence was found dead in room 524 at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Double Bay, Sydney. He was only 37.

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I’d Smash

The scene of Hutchence’s death was quite desperate to say the least. He was found by hotel housekeeping kneeling facing the door. His belt was wrapped around his neck, hanging from the door. There were cigarette burns so deep on his hands that bone was exposed. There was also evidence he was frantically searching for cocaine.

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Deep

The official ruling on the cause of death from the New South Wales State Coroner was suicide. But his long time lady Paula Yates disputes this claim. She says he was not suicidal, a devoted father, and left no suicide note. It was simply a sex act gone awry.

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Happy Family

1). Ladies and Gents, I am pleased to announce the King of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, David Carradine!

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Cali Kickin’ It

David Carradine (birth name John Arthur Carradine) was a famous American Actor and Martial Artist. He was born in Hollywood on December 8th, 1936. I’m assuming he was conceived on New Years Eve. His father, John Carradine, was also an actor.

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Young Grasshopper

David made his TV debut in 1963 on an episode of ‘Armstrong Circle Theater’. In 1972 he became famous for his portrayal of mixed race White and Chinese Shaolin monk Kwai Chang Caine on the show ‘Kung Fu’ .

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Caine

Caine’s nickname on ‘Kung Fu’ was ‘Grasshopper’. This nickname eventually reached legendary status. He was nominated for a Golden Globe and an Emmy for his role as Grasshopper.

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Meditate

He began to take movie roles more seriously starting in 1975 with Roger Corman’s cult classic ‘Death Race 2000’. He also played the four roles originally intended for Bruce Lee in the film ‘Circle of Iron’ (1978). He played many more roles throughout the rest of the 80s and 90s, resulting in him being awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1997.

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Death Race 2000

Over the years, David seemed to accumulate arrests just as easily as film roles. Specifically twice for Marijuana (1967 and 1980) and twice for Driving Under the Influence (1984 and 1989). David’s most fascinating arrest occurred in 1974.

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I’m a Good Boy

While in a Peyote fueled McConaughey/Downey Jr. style romp, he got naked and began wandering around Laurel Canyon, Los Angeles.  He eventually busted out a neighbor’s window and began bleeding profusely all over the house. Later he assaulted a woman. Police followed the perp’s (David) trail of blood back to his house and busted him. He pled no contest to the charge of malicious mischief and was sued for $1.1 million by the woman he assaulted, and settled for $20,000.

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Old School

Tragedy struck when David was 72 on June 3rd, 2009 at the Swissotel Nai Lert Park Hotel in Bangkok, Thailand. He was found in his hotel room closet naked, hanging by a rope.

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Deep Thinking

Due to the way he was found, the earliest speculations were that Carradine committed suicide. Eventually evidence was released that pointed to the death as an accident. Two of his ex-wives stated publicly he was into self bondage. One of his ex wives even specifically mentioned his ‘deviant sexual behavior’ in their divorce filing.

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Forever Young

No “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” rankings can be complete without an honorable mentions section!

A). Our first (of two) honorable mention is Stephen Milligan.

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Caught with His Pants Down

Stephen was a British journalist and Member of Parliament. His corpse was found by his secretary on February 7th, 1994.

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Busted

He was naked except for socks and suspenders. He had an electrical cord tied around his neck and a garbage bag over his head. There was a piece of an orange hanging out of his mouth.

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Sharp Dressed Man

B). Our second honorable mention is Kevin Gilbert. 

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The Gilb

Kevin Gilbert was an American musician of minor fame. I wonder if he was related to Dan Gilbert? His main contribution to society was his musical credit on Sheryl Crow’s album ‘Tuesday Night Music Club’.

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“I know Sheryl Crow”

He was found dead in his house in Los Angeles in a black skirt with a black hood covering his head.

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Females Be Trippin’

Thanks for reading. Leave your thoughts in the comments. Check out my other site, ‘MemeGrator’, the Official Meme Aggregator on the Internet.

-Jules Didlio

Vehicular Manslaughter


Anyone who claims to be a Tim and Eric fan should know and love the Adult Swim show that started it all, “Tom Goes to the Mayor” (TGTTM). It premiered on Adult Swim in November 2004. TGTTM is mostly animated, however, the people in the show are actually photos of the cast making strange facial expressions, and the photos are then filtered in Photoshop using the photocopy filter.

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TGTTM Open Scene

Similar to Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job, pretty much every show featured a famous cameo such as Jeff Goldblum, John C. Reilly, and Paul Reubens to name a few. There were many hilarious moments in the series, like Tom going undercover at the high school, “chronic nocturnal emissions”, and becoming the vice mayor of hobotown.

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John C. Reilly Cameo

In this post, I’m going to give a rundown of my favorite episode of TGTTM, “Vehicular Manslaughter”, which was the seventh episode of season one, originally airing on April 24th 2005. This episode features cameos from Michael Ian Black and Bob Odenkirk. In my opinion, this episode is the most absurd of the series, which is why its my favorite.

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Dr. Michael Ian Black in the Mayor’s Office

The episode opens with Tom giving the eulogy at Dr. Michael Ian Black’s funeral. Ridiculous pictures of Dr. Black making bizarre faces are displayed, and his family is devastated. Tom then asks himself “How could this have happened to me?” And the episode flashes back three days prior to the events that led up to this point.

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Dr. Ian Black is a Tough Crowd to Impress

Cut scene to Tom’s idea pitch to city council at Gulliver’s Buffet (two of the three city council members are played by Craig Anton and Rob Lynch, I’m unsure of the third). Tom opens with “Hi, I’m Tom Peters, but you can call me ‘poop'”.

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Jefferton City Council AKA Jefferton Shark Tank

He’s going through his presentation on using human poop to power the city, and suddenly his “funputer” (the device he’s doing the presentation with) shuts down.

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Funputer

He says his wife needed to use his laptop to work on her business. The scene cuts to show Tom’s wife, Joy, (Michael Q Schmidt) in the middle of cyber sexing with some strange man.

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Business is Booming

The mayor then interrupts, saying “not to be a sticky Tuesday about this, but don’t you think we’ll need some independent third-party verification”. This, for the most, part kills Tom’s energy plan for the time being. Next, we see Tom in the Mayor’s office wearing a Brainstorming Cap to help him think. The mayor tells Tom “gimme a B-Storm!”. The Mayor puts on the cap and comes up with the idea that they should go on the show “That’s Amazing!” to help with Tom’s energy plan. Then, Michael Ian Black, who’s a 3rd party verification expert, and a newly promoted ‘doctor of energy’, enters the office.

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Ric a Dic a Tic Toc

Here’s a video of the interesting dance they do (one of two reasons why this is my favorite episode), notice Tom looking disgusted by their dance:

Dr. Michael Ian Black notes that Tom “looks like a Steven to me”, which apparently is the ultimate insult. The Mayor then explains that Dr. Black is a doctor of energy and a third-party verification expert who can help with the energy plan. Dr. Black says, “you are not gonna believe the company car they just gave me…a Lebaron!” Tom then says he’ll drive them around town to show them where he wants to lay the pipe. For some odd reason, Dr. Black and the Mayor drive separately in the Lebaron and Tom follows. Then we see Dr. Black and the Mayor doing an odd dance and singing a seemingly sexual song in the Lebaron to a similar tempo of Smash Mouth’s “All Star”. “Hey pal, I’m a rim ram, get your rage on, get laid…”

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To the Lebaron!

The Mayor and Dr. Black turn up the music so they can’t hear Tom’s instructions on where to turn. Tom looks down at his map, and when he looks up he sees the Lebaron has stopped and he rear ends the Mayor and Dr. Black. We see Tom has been thrown from his car, is very hurt, and his car has been completely obliterated; but the Mayor and Dr. Black are completely fine and the Lebaron has no damage.

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Lebaron!

The Mayor and Dr. Black go off in an ambulance (laughing) to the hospital to take care of Dr. Black. The Mayor tells Tom he’s “on his own”. We then see a commercial for “That’s Amazing” which is hosted by a goofy man named Bradley (Bob Odenkirk). We also get a cameo from the great DJ Douggpound as a “man in a tuba suit”.

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A Very Stressed Tompy Tears

In the hospital, the Mayor notifies Tom that Dr. Black has died and his family wants to press charges, unless Tom gives the eulogy at the funeral. So, Tom accepts, since he does not want to go to jail. While writing Dr. Black’s eulogy on his Funputer, it runs out of space, and he must choose to either delete the energy plan or the eulogy. He has no choice but to delete the energy plan, throwing away all his hard work, rather than the eulogy, in order to save his butt from jail.

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Perform the Eulogy!

Then we circle back to the scene from the beginning of the episode, with Tom giving the eulogy at Dr. Black’s funeral. Tom is clearly upset and crying. All of a sudden, Dr. Black awakes from his casket and exclaims, “Hello Steven!” Tom is traumatized, thinking its a ghost, and the Mayor and Dr. Black do the sexual dance again. Dr. Black tells the Mayor, “we sure pulled a Steven on that guy!” And it’s revealed that Tom was unknowingly on “That’s Amazing” the whole entire time! People are cruel!

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Dr. Black’s Head Shot

The episode ends with the Mayor and Dr. Black teasing each other, saying “Shut up you little stinker!”, “You old bag of kale corn!”, and “You minivan!”.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed my opinion on this matter.

Please check out my website, the memegrator, the official meme aggregator on the internet.

Hey Arnold S04E04 “The Beeper Queen/Oskar Can’t Read?”


Season 4 Episode 4 of Hey Arnold, “The Beeper Queen/Oskar Can’t Read?” originally aired March 29th, 1999. It was written by Michelle Lamoreaux and Joseph Purdy. It was the 63rd episode of the series.

The first half of the episode is “The Beeper Queen”. It’s the story of how Helga’s dad Big Bob hurts his back, so her mom, Miriam has to fill in at Big Bob’s Beeper Company.

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Business Woman

The episode opens with Miriam (who Helga refers to by her first name rather than “mom”) reaching for tabasco sauce in the cupboard. A toilet is heard flushing then Big Bob walks in the kitchen and goes, “let a man show you how its done”. Hard to imagine a kid’s cartoon getting away with a line like that in 2016! The social justice warriors would have their heads. Anyways, Big Bob ironically hurts his back after showing the women “how its done”.

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Nothing Like Ice to Cure a Bad Back

Big Bob realizes that his Beeper clients Bubniak and Krapowski are flying in from Buffalo to close a major deal and he will need someone to take his place. So, Miriam steps up to the plate and volunteers but Helga and Big Bob laugh her off, she insists that she is serious. He gives in and tells her to go to the meeting but after come straight home. Again, good thing there were no Social Justice Warriors around in 1999 or else all hell would break loose over this!

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You Can’t Be Cereal

So, the next day she goes off to the meeting and gets home late. She comes in the door and Big Bob says, “Get your ‘patoot’ in here and tell me what happened before I explode!” She gives the details: they went to lunch and a pastry place for coffee and Big Bob says, “Faster Miriam!” She says they ended up tripling their order of beepers! They are also going to stay in town an extra day to look at Big Bob’s Beepers’ selection of cell phones. Big Bob actually seems disappointed it went so well.

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Helga

The next morning, Helga and Big Bob are shocked to see Miriam dressed up in business attire for her next meeting with the Buffalo guys. Helga gets annoyed by her dad’s moping and she goes to talk to Miriam. It then cuts to a montage of how their relationship is getting better, but towards the end it shows Miriam getting to busy to show Helga attention. Finally, one day she forgets to bring Helga to school and Helga asks her dad but he’s sleeping and got fat and just ignored her. When Helga gets to school, she realizes Miriam forgot to pack her lunch and that’s the last straw.

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The Stunning Miriam

Arnold sees Helga sulking in her sorrow on a bridge with an ice cream cone melting and asks if she’s okay. After telling Arnold its “none of his beeswax”, she says, “fine if you need to know,” then she complains about her mom. Arnold, with all his wisdom, suggests that she tells Miriam what she just told him. Helga approaches Miriam at the set of the new commercial she’s filming, a song about how “Beepers are a girls best friend”, and Miriam tells her its not a good time because she’s needed in five minutes. Miriam then sees her interaction with Helga caught on tape and realizes how heartless it was and rushes to go see what Helga wanted. She promises Helga she will be a better mom, and the next day, they force Big Bob to go back to work.

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All These Years I Thought Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend

The second half of the episode is “Oskar Can’t Read?”. The episode opens with dinner at the boarding house. Ernie, who is voiced by the famous Dom Irrera (I never knew he was a voice on the show!), asks Oskar to pass the salt and Oskar gives him the pepper. Ernie replies like a mafioso with “Oh marone what a dimwit!”

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Its Not Easy To Distinguish Salt From Pepper!

Next, the X-Ray glasses Oskar ordered are delivered to the boarding house. Oskar very creepily exclaims “Oh great it’s my new X-Ray glasses so I can see through peoples’ clothes!” The delivery man tells Oskar to sign his name on line 1 and Oskar is stumped. Another instance of Oskar’s inability to read is shown when Grandpa Phil is cutting onions and asks Oskar to read him the rest of the recipe. Oskar says “Oh I can’t help right now because my eyes are too teary from these onions.”

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Pills For Headaches/Cleaning Fish Bowls

Next, Arnold sees him opening a bottle of tablets to clean fish tanks and Oskar says he needs the pills for his headache. Arnold calls Oskar out on not being able to read. Ernie and Mr. Hyunh overhear this exchange and start laughing. Oskar bets them he will be able to read by the end of the month and they take the bet. After the others leave, Oskar asks Arnold to teach him how to read.

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Arnold The Teacher

Arnold accepts and starts teaching Oskar. But Oskar doesn’t take it seriously and makes up various excuses of why he hasn’t been making progress. One day, Oskar says he has learned and is ready to read the first page of A Tale of Two Cities. He then finds a random kid and buys him chocolate as payment for helping him memorize the first page of the novel.

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He Can Do Eeet!

The day comes, and Oskar reads the first page to everyone. After he finishes, Ernie asks him to do it one more time, and secretly swaps A Tale of Two Cities out for another book. Oskar doesn’t realize the books were swapped and he recites the same passage. Oskar was busted on his lie!

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Don’t Make Fun Of Me!

Oskar is down and out and mopes around the street. A kid approaches him and asks to help read the map because he’s lost and Oskar says sorry he can’t, and the kid starts to heckle and make fun of Oskar. This embarrassment forces him to come back to Arnold to try to learn to read once again. Arnold hesitantly grants him another chance.

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That’s A Good Kitty

Oskar actually puts in the effort this time around. One day Arnold drops Oskar off at a library. Oskar is struggling to read on his own then notices a children’s reading group and asks if he can read them the story. The book is called “Pet the Kitty” (how appropriate after these recently released comments about “petting kitties” our Dear Leader Donald Trump was recorded as saying).

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Yes Of Course!

He is so excited about successfully reading the story, he even fights with a kid about who can read the next story! Arnold’s final test is to blindfold Oskar and bring him to the opposite end of the city. Then Arnold gives him directions home and leaves him, telling him to find his way home. Oskar ends up getting lost in a bad part of town. He sees a stray cat and remembers his reading of the story about petting kitties and he realizes he can read the street signs and make it home. He makes it home very late, and everyone is shocked. The episode ends with him reading the kitty story late at night, very loudly.

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Pet The Kitty By Donald J Trump

The end. Thanks for reading. I love Hey Arnold so much that I felt it was appropriate to write this summary of a classic episode! Hope it brought enjoyment!