The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen


Erotic Asphyxiation AKA ‘breath control play’ is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for the purposes of sexual arousal. People who engage in the activity are called ‘gaspers’. The practice originated in observations of public hangings in Europe where erections and ejaculations were frequently observed. In England, brothel owners experimented with the act of hanging as treatment for impotence in the 1600s – early Viagra! In the late 1700s Kotzwarra requested prostitutes to hang him, sometimes for up to 5 minutes. This eventually led to his death. In the current era, 1,000 Americans die each year from this disturbing act of masturbation.

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The pleasure in this act comes from depriving your brain of oxygen, which is known in medical circles as ‘asphyxia’. By doing this, you experience a euphoria before you lose consciousness. To maximize pleasure derived from the situation, the victim actively masturbates while strangling themselves with cords or suffocating themselves with a plastic bag.

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Cleveland Kidnapper Ariel Castro Succumbed to Autoerotic Asphyxiation

The following are the top three most famous autoerotic asphyxiators, who I am personally dubbing the ‘League of Extraordinary Gentlemen’ for their contributions to humanity:

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An Exclusive Club

3). Our second runner-up in the race for king of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, we have Albert Dekker!

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Oh Hai Mark

Albert Dekker was an American actor and Democratic politician. He was born December 20th, 1905 in Brooklyn, New York. He went to Richmond Hill High School in Queens. Ironically, Rodney Dangerfield and Cyndi Lauper both are also alumni of Dekker’s alma mater.

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Hey Kids Smoking is Cool

Albert married fellow actress Esther Guerini in 1929. He later won a seat in the California State Assembly in 1944 as a Democrat. Rumor has it, a young Bill Clinton idolized Dekker.

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Bill Clinton’s Idol

Tragedy struck in 1957 when Dekker’s 16 year old son John shot himself in the face and died.

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Young Dekker

Tragedy struck again on May 5th, 1968 when Dekker, at the ripe old age of 62, was found by his fiancé Jeraldine Saunders naked, kneeling in his bathtub with a noose, connected to the shower curtain rod, tied tight around his neck .

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Preposterous

Someone wrote “Slave” and “cocksucker” and also drew a vagina on his stomach with lipstick. There were two IV needles sticking out of one of his arms. He was handcuffed, blindfolded, and gagged with a rubber ball and metal wire. Sounds like a slightly disturbing scene, this is a 62 year old man, a grandpa, we’re talking about.

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The Infamy!

Dekker has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame located at the address 6640 Hollywood Blvd.

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Best Alt-Rocker of the 2000’s

2). Our runner-up in the contest to see which Gentleman is most Extraordinary is Michael Hutchence!

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Michael Hutchence Sex God

Michael Hutchence was an Australian musician famous for being the lead singer/songwriter of INXS. He was born January 22nd, 1960 in Sydney, Australia.

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Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe

As a kid, Hutchence spent a few years in Hong Kong. He returned to Australia when he was 12. INXS was officially started in 1977, originally named “The Farris Brothers”.

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Sometime I Just Like to Think

Hutchence had much fame in the 80s as a sex god. INXS has sold over 50 million records. Their best songs are ‘New Sensation’, ‘Suicide Blonde’, ‘Need You Tonight’, ‘What You Need’, and ‘Original Sin’. He also dated Australian musician Kylie Minogue for a stretch.

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Not Sure How He Had His Particular Problem

Five years before he died, Hutchence was assaulted by a cab driver in Denmark. According to his friends, he was never the same again. He also lost his sense of taste and smell from the attack, heightening his other senses.

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For Those About To Rock

He had a daughter, named Tiger Lilly, in 1996 with his long time girlfriend Paula Yates.

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I Feel Like Leather Today

Tragedy struck on November 22nd, 1997  when Hutchence was found dead in room 524 at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Double Bay, Sydney. He was only 37.

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I’d Smash

The scene of Hutchence’s death was quite desperate to say the least. He was found by hotel housekeeping kneeling facing the door. His belt was wrapped around his neck, hanging from the door. There were cigarette burns so deep on his hands that bone was exposed. There was also evidence he was frantically searching for cocaine.

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Deep

The official ruling on the cause of death from the New South Wales State Coroner was suicide. But his long time lady Paula Yates disputes this claim. She says he was not suicidal, a devoted father, and left no suicide note. It was simply a sex act gone awry.

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Happy Family

1). Ladies and Gents, I am pleased to announce the King of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, David Carradine!

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Cali Kickin’ It

David Carradine (birth name John Arthur Carradine) was a famous American Actor and Martial Artist. He was born in Hollywood on December 8th, 1936. I’m assuming he was conceived on New Years Eve. His father, John Carradine, was also an actor.

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Young Grasshopper

David made his TV debut in 1963 on an episode of ‘Armstrong Circle Theater’. In 1972 he became famous for his portrayal of mixed race White and Chinese Shaolin monk Kwai Chang Caine on the show ‘Kung Fu’ .

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Caine

Caine’s nickname on ‘Kung Fu’ was ‘Grasshopper’. This nickname eventually reached legendary status. He was nominated for a Golden Globe and an Emmy for his role as Grasshopper.

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Meditate

He began to take movie roles more seriously starting in 1975 with Roger Corman’s cult classic ‘Death Race 2000’. He also played the four roles originally intended for Bruce Lee in the film ‘Circle of Iron’ (1978). He played many more roles throughout the rest of the 80s and 90s, resulting in him being awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 1997.

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Death Race 2000

Over the years, David seemed to accumulate arrests just as easily as film roles. Specifically twice for Marijuana (1967 and 1980) and twice for Driving Under the Influence (1984 and 1989). David’s most fascinating arrest occurred in 1974.

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I’m a Good Boy

While in a Peyote fueled McConaughey/Downey Jr. style romp, he got naked and began wandering around Laurel Canyon, Los Angeles.  He eventually busted out a neighbor’s window and began bleeding profusely all over the house. Later he assaulted a woman. Police followed the perp’s (David) trail of blood back to his house and busted him. He pled no contest to the charge of malicious mischief and was sued for $1.1 million by the woman he assaulted, and settled for $20,000.

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Old School

Tragedy struck when David was 72 on June 3rd, 2009 at the Swissotel Nai Lert Park Hotel in Bangkok, Thailand. He was found in his hotel room closet naked, hanging by a rope.

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Deep Thinking

Due to the way he was found, the earliest speculations were that Carradine committed suicide. Eventually evidence was released that pointed to the death as an accident. Two of his ex-wives stated publicly he was into self bondage. One of his ex wives even specifically mentioned his ‘deviant sexual behavior’ in their divorce filing.

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Forever Young

No “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” rankings can be complete without an honorable mentions section!

A). Our first (of two) honorable mention is Stephen Milligan.

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Caught with His Pants Down

Stephen was a British journalist and Member of Parliament. His corpse was found by his secretary on February 7th, 1994.

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Busted

He was naked except for socks and suspenders. He had an electrical cord tied around his neck and a garbage bag over his head. There was a piece of an orange hanging out of his mouth.

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Sharp Dressed Man

B). Our second honorable mention is Kevin Gilbert. 

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The Gilb

Kevin Gilbert was an American musician of minor fame. I wonder if he was related to Dan Gilbert? His main contribution to society was his musical credit on Sheryl Crow’s album ‘Tuesday Night Music Club’.

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“I know Sheryl Crow”

He was found dead in his house in Los Angeles in a black skirt with a black hood covering his head.

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Females Be Trippin’

Thanks for reading. Leave your thoughts in the comments. Check out my other site, ‘MemeGrator’, the Official Meme Aggregator on the Internet.

-Jules Didlio

Ol’ Dirty Bastard, The Legendary Folk Hero of our Generation


Hello everyone! It has been almost 2 years since I have posted something on here. I have been working on a novel and some short stories so I have not had any time for this. I am glad to be back.

This post contains examples that prove why I believe Russell “Ol’ Dirty Bastard” Jones (ODB), of the Wu Tang Clan, is our generation’s preeminent folk hero. The dictionary definition of “folk hero” is a type of hero–real, or fictional–that has left a significant collective memory in the people of a society through his or her personality or deeds. ODB has absolutely left a “significant collective memory” through both his personality and deeds over the course of his very short 35 year life. And although he only lived a short 35 years, he probably had more action and achieved more in his life than most 90 year olds. The upcoming ODB biopic will definitely be something that we won’t want to miss.

  • ODB was born in 1968 in the projects of Brooklyn. He was very poor growing up and on welfare. He and his cousins RZA and GZA had a strong interest in Rap music as well as martial arts movies. ODB never said much in interviews about his childhood, but RZA had the following memories:

“Me and [ODB] ran through this city, man, cutting school, stealin’ pretzels from the hot dog stand, being vagabonds, sleeping on the trains, drinking 40s on the back of the A Train, rapping, getting chased by the police.”

  • My personal favorite ODB story was from 1998. He was recording in the studio and saw a four year old girl get hit by a car. He ran out and with the help of some friends, lifted the car off the girl and saved her life. Here is a link to the story:

ODB Saves 4 Year Old Girl’s Life

Notice this story is from 2/24/1998. The next day, was 2/25/1998 which was the 1998 Grammys, when this gem happened:

Unhappy that Wu Tang lost to Diddy, ODB went onstage and taught Kanye how its done. Onstage, ODB says, “I don’t know how ya’ll see it, but when it comes to the children, Wu Tang is for the children. We teach the children.” Obviously he was intoxicated, but the previous day he saved a four year old girl’s life, so this was most likely a reference to that event. Shows karma probably does not exist either.

  • Another fabled ODB story comes from Ghostface:  

ODB had friction burns on his Johnson, but just to get some pussy he wrapped gauze around it then put a condom on and “still fucked a bitch”. Classic. However, not surprising to hear this about a person who had 13 kids (before the age of 35 at that).

  • This whole 33 minute interview is pure gold as well.

 The highlights occur at: 2:28, 7:11 (best moment), 9:30, 11:39, 16:24, 17:36, 18:15, 22:56, 25:10,  30:32, and 31:40.

  • Then there was the revelation the FBI had a file on him.

ODB’s FBI File Summary

Some of the highlights are:

  1. In 1999, ODB was stopped in a car with Jersey plates in Steubenville, Ohio; the same day a man was murdered in Steubenville. There was a shotgun, ammo, and a gun holster in the car. All people in the car were detained but only one was given weapons charges (not ODB).
  2. In 1999, ODB fired 2 shots at NYPD officers. He was acquitted by grand jury for attempted murder charge.
  3. ODB was robbed many times in the late 90’s.
  4. The NYPD considered the Wu Tang Clan a mafia-like organization and brought the FBI in for assistance in their investigation.
  • Then there was the time ODB escaped from his drug treatment program to record songs with RZA and attend the “The W” album release party. He was rearrested in Philadelphia when a crowd surrounded him signing autographs:

ODB Escape Story

  • One of Howard Stern’s best interviews was of ODB (occurred the day after the Grammy interruption, it was an eventful week for ODB):

The whole interview is classic. No specific times of the interview are better than others, in my opinion. But it is very interesting to hear how Diddy’s entourage responded to his interruption (where he says Wu Tang is better than Diddy’s crew). Good thing this interview happened before Stern moved to Sirius and lost his edge.

  • My top five personal favorite ODB lyrics (there’s many, many more, but these are my top five):
    • I put my dick in her womb/she blew my head like a balloon, I had her walking on the moon
    • Dip my Dunkin between your Donut/Don’t want it if it ain’t no slut, bitch
    • For any emcee in any fifty-two states/I get psycho killer, Norman Bates
    • Bitch you got herpes in ya ass/Every time you fuck a nigga, he dies fast/And you won’t be last/The pussy break down from a rash/It’s hard for you to walk, cuz you stuck up in your ass
    • Beer belly, I chuckle like Kris Kringle/Put four grams of cocaine, crushed up in the single
  • And last, but not least we can’t forget about the famous video of ODB going with his baby momma and some of his kids to get cash his welfare and get food stamps. Keep in mind he just received an advance from his label:

Overall, you may not agree with how the man lived his life; but you have to respect his attitude and how he had total disregard for societal norms and government authority. We lost a legend in 2004.

In the intro, I gave the dictionary definition of “folk hero” as ‘…a type of hero–real, or fictional–that has left a significant collective memory in the people of a society through his or her personality or deeds’. The two main ways I believe that ODB lived up to this definition and is our generation’s folk hero is (1) how he interrupted the Grammy’s (personality).  Kanye West copied Mr. Bastard’s when he stole the mic from Taylor Swift, although he could have studied ODB a little more and done it in a more tactful way. And (2) he saved a four year old girl’s life after she was hit by a car (deeds). If you can’t respect the man for this alone, then you have issues.

Its interesting to think of what more he could have done since he passed. If there is anything I may have missed, please comment. Also thank you for taking the time to read my post!

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