What Happened to the Sex and the City Girls?


Sex and the City

Let’s start with my favorite character:  Samantha

Who can forget her dirty quips and hilarious take on sex?  Samantha had so much fun with her sexuality and wasn’t the typical woman with relationships.  In my opinion, she made the show.  Unfortunately, Kim Cattrall recently confirmed that she doesn’t want to play Samantha in the future.  Many fans (including me) were very disappointed about this.  But I can’t blame her for wanting to move on.  Currently, she is filming a show called Tell Me A Story, and from what I read about it, it seems like it’s going to be awesome!  It takes the beloved fairytales The Three Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood, and Jack and the Beanstalk and gives them a dark and murderous twist.  According to her Instagram, the filming for this show started July 16, 2018.  A release date hasn’t been set yet, but I’m definitely going to check it out when it’s released.  Good luck on the show Kim!

And check out her Instagram:  @kimcattrall

Samantha

Miranda (played by Cynthia Nixon) was the tough-love type in Sex and the City.  She was a lover and a fighter.  Her relationship with Steve gave us hope that even when things aren’t working out the greatest in a relationship, love defeats all.  Now, Cynthia Nixon is running for governor of New York.  Her democratic platform involves lessening racism and homophobia.  Even though we have come so far in making things equal for all, there is still so much more progress that needs to occur.  I watch a lot of her speeches, and she seems like she would really help the state out.

And check out her Instagram:  @cynthiaenixon

cynthia

Carrie (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) knew her true love was Mr. Big.  He sure wasn’t easy to get to, though.  He broke her heart so many times in the show, but she kept trying because she couldn’t imagine her life with anyone else.  Now Sarah Jessica is in a show called Divorce.  It’s (obviously) about a couple who have gotten divorced and all the obstacles they encounter in the process.  To me, she’ll always be Carrie Bradshaw.  But that’s good that she keeps on trucking with her acting career.

And check out her Instagram:  @sarahjessicaparker

Divorce show

And last but not least Charlotte (played by Kristin Davis):  Charlotte was the hopeless romantic in the show.  She was the polar opposite of Samantha.  Her first husband, Trey, was a total disappointment unfortunately.  Her second husband, Harry, treated her like the princess she was.  Now Kristin is doing a wonderful deed by trying to prevent the poaching of the endangered species the elephant.  She’s a huge animal rights activist, and is taking a break from acting to pursue her love of animals.

And check out her Instagram:  @iamkristindavis

elephant

All That Is Wrong With Lena Dunham


There is a plague like scourge that America is currently dealing with, and her name is Lena Dunham. One of the physical embodiments of the “regressive left” that exists in our once great (and will be great again after November when Lena Dunham moves to Canada) country. I’m not a sexist, or a bigot, or a racist but this post is going to definitely make me sound like one. If you’re good at what you do, I like and respect you. That counts for everyone; women, men, children, Arabs, Africans, Gays, etc. I’m blind to labels, I only see talent. For example, I believe Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are very funny comedians – in the top 10 of my list of current comics.

lena8.png

Sorry if you were planning on eating in the next month

I discovered this wench over 4 years ago in 2012 when I saw the show “Girls” on HBO on demand. I watched an episode, I cannot remember which episode, lets just say it was the pilot, and was utterly disgusted. Disgusted mostly with myself that I wasted over 50 minutes of my precious life absorbing this nonsense. But also disgusted with television and HBO to allow such fuckery to air. That day I made a promise to myself that I would never put myself through that, or anything like it ever again.

lena9

Lena after dropping a dirty turd. Stinks in there.

However, this accidental viewing of “Girls” wasn’t the last time I would be tortured by this mental midget. Since “Girls” started in 2012 she has seemed to hit the news a couple of times a year for various dumb reasons.

lena7

I’m seriously sorry if you were planning on eating

First, she received a $3.7 million dollar advance for a book shortly after the first season of her show ended – and good for her, I’m happy for her. But I’m also happy that, as of January 16th 2016, her books only sold 271,931 copies. Which is a little more than half way to the publishers break even point of 500,000 copies sold – serves them right. That’s karma. With any luck, the PC lib asshat who approved that deal got canned.

lena6.jpg

Again

By the way, the only non-whites in the pilot of Girls were a black taxi driver, a black homeless guy, and an Asian. They then hired Donald Glover AKA Childish Gambino to star in a couple of episodes in season 2 to end the claims of racism. Pretty strange for a show created by such a PC, liberal, gay rights, and other minorities activist.

lena11.jpg

The belly button is deep

Fast forward to 2014. Lena’s book “Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s ‘Learned'” is finally released. In it she reveals her sexual assault of her sister and also makes the PROVEN false claim that she was sexually assaulted while she was a student at Oberlin College. By the way, Lena’s sister is now a lesbian. Conventional wisdom says that sexuality is genetic, but this is an interesting coincidence, the younger sister being sexually assaulted as a child by the older sister and becomes a lesbian. This book is a true window into the ugliness that resides inside Lena Dunham’s body.

In the book Lena says she was high on coke and xanax and she was alone when she was raped. This random CONSERVATIVE man from her college took advantage of the situation and sexually assaulted her. I’m sorry but how is the man’s politics relevant to the false rape. Why is that detail added to the narrative? Also, if you’re high on coke and xanax, it’s probably not that easy to communicate whether or not you want sex – I recommend to only mix these substances around friends. All in all, rape is a very serious accusation and even if the man is found innocent, many times the damage to his reputation is already done. I personally know a man who was falsely accused of rape and he the situation made him suicidal, he hasn’t been the same since. For this reason alone, Lena should be ostracized from mainstream pop culture.

lena10

Be careful or I’ll accuse you of rape

Another interesting tidbit on Lena is how she claimed she was waiting to get married until gay marriage is legal in all 50 states. So then, in 2015 when gay marriage becomes legal on the federal level, she says she’s not ready to get married yet. So, the question becomes, why even make that statement in the first place? Lena clearly isn’t the new generations premier logician, that’s for certain.

lena3.jpg

Hope you weren’t planning on eating this month

So now we’re in 2016 and the stupid Lena Dunham stories are only accelerating. First we have her coming to the defense of fellow false rape accuser Ke$ha. Definitely makes sense – “it’s a false rape accuser thing”. If a woman accuses a man of rape and then it’s proven to be a lie, that woman should get as many years, if not more, in prison than the man would have gotten.

lena5

“Theres no toilet paper left to wipe my butt with”

Then we have her dumb comment about Kanye’s video for his song “Famous”. She says the video is one of the most “disturbing ‘artistic’ efforts in her recent memory”.This is the video with the naked wax versions of various celebrities. Of note is that Lena Dunham was not one of those naked wax celebrities. It’s not good to make assumptions, but I have a feeling she wouldn’t have made that criticism if she was one of those naked celebs. When asked about Lena’s criticism, Kanye responded, “who?”.

lena4

That’s a dumb tattoo

Now, most recently, Lena gave a speech at the Democratic National Convention. I don’t know what segment of the Democratic electorate she represents. And it’s also pretty ironic that the Black Lives Matter party would have someone who is the definition of white privilege speak, but that’s beyond my scope here. Straight up, what she said was just really stupid.

lena1.jpg

All in all, please don’t pay this idiot any further attention. She’s not interesting, she’s unfunny, and a no talent. She doesn’t stand for anything, and isn’t intelligent. The least you can do, is next time you’re in Barnes & Noble, find Lena’s book, pick your nose or your ass, and wipe your dirty finger on a page.

The Office Episodes Different Writing Styles


“The Office” is the famous sitcom/mockumentary featuring Steve Carell as the offensive, ineffective, pointless boss for which he’s so famous. “The Office” is also famous for its ensemble cast and extensive use of different writers/directors/producers for individual episodes. In this post, I’m going to look at, summarize, and rank four episodes written and directed by four different individuals.

cast.jpg

The cast

I’m going to summarize these episodes in the order of quality, with what I thought was the best episode first, and the worst episode last.

1) Episode 67; S04E14 (accounting for 2 part episodes);Episode Title: ‘Chair Model’; Air Date: 4/17/2008; Written by: BJ Novak; Directed by: Jeffrey Blitz.

rip chair

Mourning the death of the chair model

This episode begins with a Kevin and Andy complaining about how there is no more parking spaces for them because of construction workers doing work on the building, causing them to have to park in the satellite lot and walk a considerable distance to the office.

phyllis.jpg

Phyllis

Next, Michael Scott wants to be set up on a date since he just broke up with Jan. He’s ready to get back on the market after his breakup. In the process of soliciting his subordinates for dates, he asks Oscar for help and he calls being gay a “condition” which is incredibly offensive to Oscar. Phyllis then asks Michael if he’d be interested in her friend that is a pro softball player. Among a few different offensive questions Michael asks about Phyllis’ friend, he asks if she’d be able to fit in a rowboat, trying to find out if she’s fat without asking it directly. Michael then makes a formal request to his workers to submit him a name and number of someone he could go on a date with. My favorite line from Michael in this part is how he says he’s a catch and doesn’t want to be the one that got away.

mscot

Page 85

I thought it was interesting how Jim jokes with Pam and says he is putting her mom’s name and number down for Michael to call. Just 40 episodes later in the series (“The Lover”) in season 6 episode 7 it is revealed that Michael has been dating Pam’s mom since Jim and Pam’s wedding.

Michael calls up “Wendy” who was Kevin’s submission, and it happens to be “Wendy’s” fast food restaurant, and not a woman named “Wendy”. This seemed to really upset Michael.

wendys].png

I want her number

The title of the episode comes from the model Michael finds in the chair magazine while looking for a new chair to order, and not a literal “model” of a chair. Dwight has the idea of tracking down this model for Michael because he thought she was so very attractive. Dwight does some digging and finds out this woman is dead. Michael takes the news of her death very seriously, even though he has never met this woman.

the chair model

The chair model

Pam then sets Michael up with her landlady (Margaret), which turns into a real disaster. When she first approaches Michael in the coffee shop, he denies his name is Michael. This backfires when the barista calls out his name “Michael” and hands him the drink he ordered, hot chocolate. I like how in this scene, Michael breaks the third wall and looks into the camera hopelessly. Michael then starts asking her really stupid questions, like what she does with the rent checks she gets from tenants. He then shows her a pic of Jan on his phone and tells her about Jan’s boob job and accidentally calls Jan. He then says he “felt like he was talking to the sweet old lady on the bus” which the landlady says is incredibly rude.

deborah

Margaret the land lady

Meanwhile, Andy and Kevin arranged a meeting of the “5 families” which are the four other businesses that work in Scranton business park + Dunder Mifflin. I enjoyed this scene because it is a truly incredible waste of time, which could have been completely done through email or phone calls, which one of the attendees points out.

Then, Michael yells at Pam about hooking him up with Margaret, and how he’s a man of “cool, youth, and ‘passionately'”.

At the end of the episode, Andy is talking about how proud he is of getting their parking spaces back. He says some bizarre things in this scene like he did it for the guy who “wakes up everyday in his $400 apartment and wonders how he’s going to pay his mortgage every month”.

2). Episode 64; S04E11 (again, accounting for the 2 part episodes); Episode Title: ‘Survivor Man’; Air Date: 11/8/2007; Written by: Steve Carell; Directed by: Paul Feig.

This episode was definitely a close second to “The Chair Model”. Season 4 had some of the best episodes of the show, without a doubt. The episode opens with Toby telling a group of workers about the retreat in the woods he went on with Ryan, who recently became an executive with Dunder Mifflin. Ryan took all the branch managers and HR people, except Michael Scott because everyone already knew enough about him. This is pretty upsetting to Michael, who feels very left out and excluded and appalled that Toby was invited and he was not.

Because of this feeling of exclusion Michael is experiencing, he decides to go out into the woods himself and will try to survive on his own. Dwight rides out to the woods with him to make sure he gets set up properly. On the way there, Dwight digresses and says if he were a serial killer he would cut off people’s fingertips and remove their teeth, and he’d be known as the ‘overkill killer’. Michael, disturbed, yells at Dwight and says to let him have his one cathartic experience in his life — I also notice this word ‘cathartic’ was used in the next episode on my list, ‘Frame Toby’.

survivor

The Survivorman

Back in the office, while Michael is gone in the woods, Jim is in charge. He seems to be having major issues with the changes he made to birthday parties in the office. His new ideas aren’t very popular. Birthday parties happen to be one of the areas that Michael was very good in, even tho he sometimes went overboard with the singing, surprises, and jokes.

scottbday

Happy bday

Back in the woods, Dwight is shown spying on Michael. Dwight didn’t want to leave him alone in the wilderness to fend for himself, what a pal! While being watched by Dwight, Michael records himself yelling out some bizarre things that he apparently needed to let loose. He bellows, “I wish I could have gone with Ryan on that cool retreat!”, “Jan has plastic boobs!”, and “I have hemorrhoids!“.

dwight

Dwight watching Michael

In an interesting scene in the office, Phyllis calls Jim “Michael” by accident. This disturbs Jim and he mentions it to the camera people.

Michael then randomly shows up for the birthday parties and sings. He then says he doesn’t need wide open spaces, because he has a pic of the grand canyon and the sky on his desk top. And he also doesn’t need fresh air from outside, because he has the freshest air, which is air conditioning.

mscoott

What a view

At the end of the episode, Jim tells Michael about how unpopular his idea for the birthday party was. Michael tells him he made the same rookie mistake and in 10 years, Jim will learn. Jim says he won’t be there in 10 years, and Michael said that’s what he also said 10 years ago. This scares Jim.

3). Episode 81; SS05E09; Episode Title: ‘Frame Toby’; Air Date: 11/20/2008; Written by: Mindy Kaling; Directed by: Jason Reitman.

Toby starts off the episode by saying his time in Costa Rica was “cathartic” — see paragraph 2 of the ‘Survivor Man’ section. I think cathartic (vocally expressing ones feelings to relieve strong emotions) experiences are important to office workers such as these, and “cathartic” is the perfect word for them to be using. I am going to be paying extra attention for other uses of that word throughout the series (I’m a nerd).

FrameToby

He is back

A funny Michael Scott-ism from this episode, in the beginning, someone brought in brownies and Michael says he’s going to take two and parcel them out and eat them slowly throughout the day because it’s healthier that way. While getting brownies, Michael finds out Toby works there again, since he just got back from a couple of months in Costa Rica.

In the next scene, Jim talks with his coworkers about how he just bought his parents house, and not to tell Pam because it’s a surprise. He tells the people where his house is, “near the quarry”, and Creed says he lives right there too, and they should hang out and throw stuff down into the quarry (bizarre) and Jim says sure he would be up for that, sarcastically.

frametoby2

After Michael comes to grips with Toby being back, he begins plotting a plan to get Toby fired. His first plan is to give Pam a note to give to Toby that says to kiss her, so he would assault Pam and that would be cause to fire him.

hat him

Just cause

In a very weird scene that I didn’t understand completely, Ryan and Kelly are shown making out and Toby tells them that its inappropriate, then asks them if they want to see his pics from Costa Rica. Why would he interrupt their make out session, then ask them to look at his personal pictures? But then Michael walks up and bats the pics out of Toby’s hand and tells Toby to punch him for it, so Toby will assault him and then can be fired. Toby doesn’t take the bait.

Pam-in-Frame-Toby-pam-beesly-2890956-1280-720

Pam reading Michael’s note to Toby from her

Michael starts to get stressed and starts pounding the brownies he said he was going to parcel out and eat throughout the day. While pounding brownies, Dwight and Michael decide the best way to get Toby fired, after their other 2 plans failed, is to plant drugs in Toby’s desk and call the police and get him arrested. Michael goes and talks to the 2 Vance Refrigeration employees asking if they can sell him some weed. So, they sell him Caprese salad and tell him its 2 pounds of weed, and charge him $500. Dwight and Michael then put the salad in Toby’s desk and Dwight calls the cops (saying his name is Andy Bernard). So, the cops come and immediately notice that the bag contains Caprese salad and leave. Then Toby asks Michael if he put it there, to which Michael asks “since when is it illegal to put Caprese salad anywhere?”

cap sal

This shit right here

Ryan and Kelly are then shown again making out (too much irrelevant making out between them in this episode) and then he breaks up with her. He says he needs to go to Thailand with some friends.

RyandumpsKellyagain.png

It’s over girl

The episode ends with Jim bringing Pam to the house he bought from his parents. She loves it! Happy ending.

4). Episode 180; S09E04; Episode Title: ‘Work Bus’; Air Date: 10/18/2012; Written by: Brent Forrester; Directed by: Bryan Cranston.

Overall season 9 was terrible, so naturally this was going to be the worst episode on this short list. After Steve Carell left, I think it could be argued that it wasn’t even the same show anymore. I picked this episode because it was directed by Bryan Cranston, and that intrigued me because I never knew he had any involvement in the series. He still couldn’t save it, however.

fail.jpg

Season 9 = fail

At this point in the series, Andy is the manager and Dwight owns the building the office is in. Toby is measuring the electromagnetic field in the office and marking where it’s detected. To mess with Dwight, Jim pops his popcorn so only one or two kernels pop. He then hides the popcorn under Dwight’s desk and asks Dwight to hand it to him. Of course, Dwight notices that only a couple of kernels have popped, and thinks its due to the electromagnetic field. Dwight tells Andy, who gives everyone the week off because of it. Not to lose out, Dwight arranges for a work bus for all the workers to work in so they can’t get the week off.

crew love

The crew

Jim then convinces everyone to pressure Andy to take the bus to get pies. On this ride, Dwight gets madder and madder at Jim for his prank and messing with him all the time. Jim confronts Dwight about his attitude, and Dwight asks him what position him and Pam conceived their child. The two positions he asks Jim are “regular” and “lady on her back”. What could “regular” mean? Doggystyle? This was one of only two laughs for me in this episode. The other was when Dwight stops to pick up a hitch hiker, who says he ditched work today, and it turns out to be Creed, who was suspiciously absent until that point in the episode.

pie.jpg

American pie

That is all for today, folks! Leave me some comments and give me your thoughts.