Vehicular Manslaughter


Anyone who claims to be a Tim and Eric fan should know and love the Adult Swim show that started it all, “Tom Goes to the Mayor” (TGTTM). It premiered on Adult Swim in November 2004. TGTTM is mostly animated, however, the people in the show are actually photos of the cast making strange facial expressions, and the photos are then filtered in Photoshop using the photocopy filter.

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TGTTM Open Scene

Similar to Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job, pretty much every show featured a famous cameo such as Jeff Goldblum, John C. Reilly, and Paul Reubens to name a few. There were many hilarious moments in the series, like Tom going undercover at the high school, “chronic nocturnal emissions”, and becoming the vice mayor of hobotown.

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John C. Reilly Cameo

In this post, I’m going to give a rundown of my favorite episode of TGTTM, “Vehicular Manslaughter”, which was the seventh episode of season one, originally airing on April 24th 2005. This episode features cameos from Michael Ian Black and Bob Odenkirk. In my opinion, this episode is the most absurd of the series, which is why its my favorite.

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Dr. Michael Ian Black in the Mayor’s Office

The episode opens with Tom giving the eulogy at Dr. Michael Ian Black’s funeral. Ridiculous pictures of Dr. Black making bizarre faces are displayed, and his family is devastated. Tom then asks himself “How could this have happened to me?” And the episode flashes back three days prior to the events that led up to this point.

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Dr. Ian Black is a Tough Crowd to Impress

Cut scene to Tom’s idea pitch to city council at Gulliver’s Buffet (two of the three city council members are played by Craig Anton and Rob Lynch, I’m unsure of the third). Tom opens with “Hi, I’m Tom Peters, but you can call me ‘poop'”.

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Jefferton City Council AKA Jefferton Shark Tank

He’s going through his presentation on using human poop to power the city, and suddenly his “funputer” (the device he’s doing the presentation with) shuts down.

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Funputer

He says his wife needed to use his laptop to work on her business. The scene cuts to show Tom’s wife, Joy, (Michael Q Schmidt) in the middle of cyber sexing with some strange man.

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Business is Booming

The mayor then interrupts, saying “not to be a sticky Tuesday about this, but don’t you think we’ll need some independent third-party verification”. This, for the most, part kills Tom’s energy plan for the time being. Next, we see Tom in the Mayor’s office wearing a Brainstorming Cap to help him think. The mayor tells Tom “gimme a B-Storm!”. The Mayor puts on the cap and comes up with the idea that they should go on the show “That’s Amazing!” to help with Tom’s energy plan. Then, Michael Ian Black, who’s a 3rd party verification expert, and a newly promoted ‘doctor of energy’, enters the office.

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Ric a Dic a Tic Toc

Here’s a video of the interesting dance they do (one of two reasons why this is my favorite episode), notice Tom looking disgusted by their dance:

Dr. Michael Ian Black notes that Tom “looks like a Steven to me”, which apparently is the ultimate insult. The Mayor then explains that Dr. Black is a doctor of energy and a third-party verification expert who can help with the energy plan. Dr. Black says, “you are not gonna believe the company car they just gave me…a Lebaron!” Tom then says he’ll drive them around town to show them where he wants to lay the pipe. For some odd reason, Dr. Black and the Mayor drive separately in the Lebaron and Tom follows. Then we see Dr. Black and the Mayor doing an odd dance and singing a seemingly sexual song in the Lebaron to a similar tempo of Smash Mouth’s “All Star”. “Hey pal, I’m a rim ram, get your rage on, get laid…”

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To the Lebaron!

The Mayor and Dr. Black turn up the music so they can’t hear Tom’s instructions on where to turn. Tom looks down at his map, and when he looks up he sees the Lebaron has stopped and he rear ends the Mayor and Dr. Black. We see Tom has been thrown from his car, is very hurt, and his car has been completely obliterated; but the Mayor and Dr. Black are completely fine and the Lebaron has no damage.

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Lebaron!

The Mayor and Dr. Black go off in an ambulance (laughing) to the hospital to take care of Dr. Black. The Mayor tells Tom he’s “on his own”. We then see a commercial for “That’s Amazing” which is hosted by a goofy man named Bradley (Bob Odenkirk). We also get a cameo from the great DJ Douggpound as a “man in a tuba suit”.

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A Very Stressed Tompy Tears

In the hospital, the Mayor notifies Tom that Dr. Black has died and his family wants to press charges, unless Tom gives the eulogy at the funeral. So, Tom accepts, since he does not want to go to jail. While writing Dr. Black’s eulogy on his Funputer, it runs out of space, and he must choose to either delete the energy plan or the eulogy. He has no choice but to delete the energy plan, throwing away all his hard work, rather than the eulogy, in order to save his butt from jail.

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Perform the Eulogy!

Then we circle back to the scene from the beginning of the episode, with Tom giving the eulogy at Dr. Black’s funeral. Tom is clearly upset and crying. All of a sudden, Dr. Black awakes from his casket and exclaims, “Hello Steven!” Tom is traumatized, thinking its a ghost, and the Mayor and Dr. Black do the sexual dance again. Dr. Black tells the Mayor, “we sure pulled a Steven on that guy!” And it’s revealed that Tom was unknowingly on “That’s Amazing” the whole entire time! People are cruel!

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Dr. Black’s Head Shot

The episode ends with the Mayor and Dr. Black teasing each other, saying “Shut up you little stinker!”, “You old bag of kale corn!”, and “You minivan!”.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed my opinion on this matter.

Please check out my website, the memegrator, the official meme aggregator on the internet.

Hey Arnold S04E04 “The Beeper Queen/Oskar Can’t Read?”


Season 4 Episode 4 of Hey Arnold, “The Beeper Queen/Oskar Can’t Read?” originally aired March 29th, 1999. It was written by Michelle Lamoreaux and Joseph Purdy. It was the 63rd episode of the series.

The first half of the episode is “The Beeper Queen”. It’s the story of how Helga’s dad Big Bob hurts his back, so her mom, Miriam has to fill in at Big Bob’s Beeper Company.

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Business Woman

The episode opens with Miriam (who Helga refers to by her first name rather than “mom”) reaching for tabasco sauce in the cupboard. A toilet is heard flushing then Big Bob walks in the kitchen and goes, “let a man show you how its done”. Hard to imagine a kid’s cartoon getting away with a line like that in 2016! The social justice warriors would have their heads. Anyways, Big Bob ironically hurts his back after showing the women “how its done”.

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Nothing Like Ice to Cure a Bad Back

Big Bob realizes that his Beeper clients Bubniak and Krapowski are flying in from Buffalo to close a major deal and he will need someone to take his place. So, Miriam steps up to the plate and volunteers but Helga and Big Bob laugh her off, she insists that she is serious. He gives in and tells her to go to the meeting but after come straight home. Again, good thing there were no Social Justice Warriors around in 1999 or else all hell would break loose over this!

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You Can’t Be Cereal

So, the next day she goes off to the meeting and gets home late. She comes in the door and Big Bob says, “Get your ‘patoot’ in here and tell me what happened before I explode!” She gives the details: they went to lunch and a pastry place for coffee and Big Bob says, “Faster Miriam!” She says they ended up tripling their order of beepers! They are also going to stay in town an extra day to look at Big Bob’s Beepers’ selection of cell phones. Big Bob actually seems disappointed it went so well.

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Helga

The next morning, Helga and Big Bob are shocked to see Miriam dressed up in business attire for her next meeting with the Buffalo guys. Helga gets annoyed by her dad’s moping and she goes to talk to Miriam. It then cuts to a montage of how their relationship is getting better, but towards the end it shows Miriam getting to busy to show Helga attention. Finally, one day she forgets to bring Helga to school and Helga asks her dad but he’s sleeping and got fat and just ignored her. When Helga gets to school, she realizes Miriam forgot to pack her lunch and that’s the last straw.

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The Stunning Miriam

Arnold sees Helga sulking in her sorrow on a bridge with an ice cream cone melting and asks if she’s okay. After telling Arnold its “none of his beeswax”, she says, “fine if you need to know,” then she complains about her mom. Arnold, with all his wisdom, suggests that she tells Miriam what she just told him. Helga approaches Miriam at the set of the new commercial she’s filming, a song about how “Beepers are a girls best friend”, and Miriam tells her its not a good time because she’s needed in five minutes. Miriam then sees her interaction with Helga caught on tape and realizes how heartless it was and rushes to go see what Helga wanted. She promises Helga she will be a better mom, and the next day, they force Big Bob to go back to work.

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All These Years I Thought Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend

The second half of the episode is “Oskar Can’t Read?”. The episode opens with dinner at the boarding house. Ernie, who is voiced by the famous Dom Irrera (I never knew he was a voice on the show!), asks Oskar to pass the salt and Oskar gives him the pepper. Ernie replies like a mafioso with “Oh marone what a dimwit!”

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Its Not Easy To Distinguish Salt From Pepper!

Next, the X-Ray glasses Oskar ordered are delivered to the boarding house. Oskar very creepily exclaims “Oh great it’s my new X-Ray glasses so I can see through peoples’ clothes!” The delivery man tells Oskar to sign his name on line 1 and Oskar is stumped. Another instance of Oskar’s inability to read is shown when Grandpa Phil is cutting onions and asks Oskar to read him the rest of the recipe. Oskar says “Oh I can’t help right now because my eyes are too teary from these onions.”

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Pills For Headaches/Cleaning Fish Bowls

Next, Arnold sees him opening a bottle of tablets to clean fish tanks and Oskar says he needs the pills for his headache. Arnold calls Oskar out on not being able to read. Ernie and Mr. Hyunh overhear this exchange and start laughing. Oskar bets them he will be able to read by the end of the month and they take the bet. After the others leave, Oskar asks Arnold to teach him how to read.

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Arnold The Teacher

Arnold accepts and starts teaching Oskar. But Oskar doesn’t take it seriously and makes up various excuses of why he hasn’t been making progress. One day, Oskar says he has learned and is ready to read the first page of A Tale of Two Cities. He then finds a random kid and buys him chocolate as payment for helping him memorize the first page of the novel.

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He Can Do Eeet!

The day comes, and Oskar reads the first page to everyone. After he finishes, Ernie asks him to do it one more time, and secretly swaps A Tale of Two Cities out for another book. Oskar doesn’t realize the books were swapped and he recites the same passage. Oskar was busted on his lie!

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Don’t Make Fun Of Me!

Oskar is down and out and mopes around the street. A kid approaches him and asks to help read the map because he’s lost and Oskar says sorry he can’t, and the kid starts to heckle and make fun of Oskar. This embarrassment forces him to come back to Arnold to try to learn to read once again. Arnold hesitantly grants him another chance.

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That’s A Good Kitty

Oskar actually puts in the effort this time around. One day Arnold drops Oskar off at a library. Oskar is struggling to read on his own then notices a children’s reading group and asks if he can read them the story. The book is called “Pet the Kitty” (how appropriate after these recently released comments about “petting kitties” our Dear Leader Donald Trump was recorded as saying).

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Yes Of Course!

He is so excited about successfully reading the story, he even fights with a kid about who can read the next story! Arnold’s final test is to blindfold Oskar and bring him to the opposite end of the city. Then Arnold gives him directions home and leaves him, telling him to find his way home. Oskar ends up getting lost in a bad part of town. He sees a stray cat and remembers his reading of the story about petting kitties and he realizes he can read the street signs and make it home. He makes it home very late, and everyone is shocked. The episode ends with him reading the kitty story late at night, very loudly.

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Pet The Kitty By Donald J Trump

The end. Thanks for reading. I love Hey Arnold so much that I felt it was appropriate to write this summary of a classic episode! Hope it brought enjoyment!

“Rattlers’ Class of ’63” – Top 5 Scenes


The Rockford Files was a show from the 1970s starring the legendary James Garner as Jim Rockford. The story revolved around a private investigator, Jim “Rockford” Rockford. The show follows his various investigations and other capers he finds himself in Los Angeles County, California. This video pretty much sums up the character of Jim Rockford. Today I will be reviewing what I thought were the top 5 scenes of the episode “Rattler’s Class of ’63”. It is the 8th episode of the 3rd season.

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James “Jim ‘Rockford’ Rockford” Garner

With an Original Air Date of 11/26/1976, it will hit the ripe old age of 40 in just two and a half months. Here’s a link to the iconic theme of The Rockford Files.

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It’s $200 Per Day, Plus Expenses, Bitch!

This episode is of particular interest because it was written by David Chase, who went on to create The Sopranos. Which is one of my favorite shows, sparking my interest into his other earlier works. Leading me to The Rockford Files. He wrote 30 episodes of The Sopranos and directed 2 (The Pilot and Made In America – the final episode). The Sopranos is still widely considered to be the greatest show of all time, even though it’s been 9 years since the final episode.

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David Chase, Creator Of The Sopranos

And here’s a link to TV Guide’s “Top 50 Shows” list from April 26, 2002. Notice that not only is The Rockford Files is ranked 39th, but The Sopranos is ranked 5th already. Just to remind you, the list is from 2002, more than 5 years before The Sopranos final episode.

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David Chase With His Partner In Crime, James Gandolfini

Onto my top 5 scenes of “Rattlers’ Class of ’63”, the fifth ranked episode of the series, according to IMDB. Unfortunately, I could only find one video from the episode on YouTube, but it can be found on Netflix.

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Big Pimpen In Cali

5). 11:13-13:37 – Bobby Boyajian and his goons walk in his sister Regine’s apartment while she’s talking to Rockford. Bobby points out, “here’s the guy that pounded me at the church,” while pointing at Rockford. Chubby guy with curly hair (Leo I think?) punches Rockford in the stomach and Bobby and the other goon hold Rockford. They pull him outside where Leo says to Rockford, “You’re in deep trouble, Mr. Brewmeister!”. Then cocks his elbow back ready to swing into Rockford’s gut. Rockford is able to fight back and flee. Epic chase scene ensues. Rockford pulls away and his pursuers lose sight of him. He then hides behind a corner and surprise sucker-punches Leo causing him to fall into the pool.

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Nothing Like A Good Old Smoke Break

4). 5:36-6:40 – Regine Boyajian and Angel Martin (Stuart Margolin) are tying the knot. Regine’s brother, Bobby Boyajian, barges in and interrupts the wedding, saying “what do ya call this?!…I gotta hear it from your landlord?” Bobby then sucker punches Angel. Next, Rockford grabs Bobby to stabilize him, and Bobby tries to punch Rockford and he gets bitch slapped. Rockford don’t take no shit. Bobby cries out, “He’s not even Armenian!”. I was surprised no one else in the Boyajian family in attendance intervened to control Bobby’s outburst.

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Wedding of Regine and Angel

3). 28:10-31:52 – We see Rockford walking with Regine at Bobby’s wake. In this emotional moment, Rockford assures Regine that he and Angel had nothing to do with her brother Bobby’s death. It’s surprising to me that the victim’s family would even allow someone who was suspected of the man’s murder at his wake. Regine goes into details on how in recent months, Bobby became closer to people like Leo and has always been drunk and “perpetually” broke. Here’s an interesting video of the “women of The Rockford Files”. Rockford knows Regine and Angel aren’t making love so he wants to swoop in and help a woman out!

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How’d I End Up In This Mess Guys

2). 33:30-35:28 – Rockford talks to his friend LAPD Sergeant Dennis Becker (Joe Santos). He inquires as to what Dennis found on Chechick and Leo Cale. The duo buried Eddie Groger and another body in the landfill (Boyajian Brothers Sanitation Co.) and forced the sleazy car salesman to buy the property. Rockford keeps trying to pry for further information. Dennis forcefully lets Rockford know he’s being charged with “conspiracy to commit”. And Rockford sarcastically repeats “conspiracy to commit?”. Rockford promptly zips his lips.

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I’m So Nice

1). 41:20-43:09 – We find Rockford and Angel talking in a trailer, waiting to be attacked by whoever is pursuing them. Then we see the used car salesman and some other man in the driver’s seat, watching them from a distance. Soon after, Angel hears noise outside the trailer. Rockford says to wait to attack until the person gets inside because they’re gonna stick with the plan they already set up. We then hear the man messing with the gas cap, and Angel remembers that he did not lock it. The car salesman lights fire to the gas tank and the trailer explodes, but Rockford and Angel escape and exchange fire with the guys. It’s the fat guy from the landfill driving the getaway car for the used car salesman. They get stuck on a rock and Rockford catches up to them (ironic?).

As a big time Soprano’s fan, I definitely found it interesting to go back in time and see some of David Chase’s ealiest works. However, I did not see much in this episode of The Rockford Files that reminded me of anything in The Sopranos. Regardless, it was still an entertaining 50 minutes of my life.

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He’s Not Afraid To Have Old Friends

Please share your thoughts and comments! Of course my list is imperfect, and not all peeps will agree with my opinions.

And keep your fingers crossed for a The Rockford Files movie!

Oh yea, and please check out my Go Fund Me page, and if you can help share or even contribute I will love you forever.

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He Drove Off Silently Into The Night