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I walk home. The walking soulless selfish contradictions we all are. That feeling I had for you.
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Thinking of you and the new toy in bed on the sheets you peddle. I think of you daily. I wanted to show you all the love in my heart.
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I walk to work. Anything to take my mind off it. Meet them in text. Dating for men is a s game. The disconnection of modernity.
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I spend my holidays alone. I've had well over fifty first dates since we split--since you split. I wanted to behold it myself. Never feel a thing.
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This is hard to bear most days. I dreamed it could be perfect.
If you are the Hayes Valley bicycle and everyone gets a ride, then I am the Hayes Valley laides for one and all to laugh at. Feelings are in the eyes and people are old shoes.
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I cook alone. I Gloucestter. I'd never felt like that. A gamble for the plastic coated joker. I'm having big marital problems and waiting to talk to a comprehension and sympathetic woman.
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I saw, I tasted, I felt, I heard and for one sweet moment I had --I found it in you, just knowing the unknowable. I'd sell my soul for a loving life with you. So many dark days have passed. Ditch them in text.
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I was crazy. Until then and nevermore my love, Suck my dignity. I still can't.
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But the best kind of crazy the kind that means well. I wish I could. The outsider.
