How to Approach the First Date

Every person is inevitably nervous when they are first getting to know someone and they will be especially nervous when that someone is a potential romantic interest. One person cannot control what the other person is thinking while on a date, but a good impression can leave a lasting impact. When on a first date, it is most important to try to be yourself regardless of the inevitable first date anxiety, let it show whether you are having a good time or a bad time with the other person, and talk about neutral topics as opposed to topics that elicit strong opinions.

first dates

Being yourself is the most important thing to remember on a first date along with the fact that the other person is just as nervous as you are. The first date should be a low-pressure hangout. You should come into it to see if you could be friends first (Do not show up with flowers…that seems a little too desperate).

Sad and rejected man with a bouquet of flowers

If a woman or a man tries to be someone who they’re not and the relationship ends up working out at first, it will probably fail in the long run. This is because as a relationship progresses, the two people in the relationship continually learn about each other. In order to be happy in a long-term relationship, the goal should be to let the other person in the relationship know everything about you. The relationship cannot be based on a lie because that is torture to both parties. On a first date, one should try to mention the major things that they are interested in and try to bring up topics that seem interesting but not too personal just yet. The point of a first date is to touch upon the surface of one’s true self. If the other person is interested in this “preview”, then a second date is most likely to follow.

smiling geek

It is very important to let the other person know that you are having a good time if you are enjoying yourself, but it is also important to let them know if you are not having a good time. If you do not have a good time on a first date, then the two of you are probably not suited for each other anyway. Chemistry cannot be forced. If you or the other person is not initially interested at all, they will not be able to force you to have feelings for them and you will not be able to force them to have feelings for you. Even so, it is also important to remember that chemistry takes time to build. If there is a spark on the first date, but not an intense attraction, it is still a good idea to try a second date. When the other person’s personality clicks with your personality, the chemistry feelings increase and the attraction also increases.

young funny guy, business man crossing fingers, wishing, hoping

When talking about your interests, it is a good idea to mostly talk about neutral topics at first. Neutral topics are things that will most likely not cause arguments or misunderstandings. Good neutral topics include, but are not limited to, dreams or aspirations, current and past pleasures, favorite movies and television shows, and careers. These topics will evoke good emotions and give the other person a glance at what type of person you are. They should say how they relate to your experiences and then you can see what type of person they are also. The worst topic to bring up and will most likely ensure that you will never see the other person again is your relationship past. This will chase the person away because this shows that you have a lot of emotional baggage. Other big topics that should be avoided are political beliefs, religious beliefs, major personal problems, and feelings about money. You are probably not going to be able to change how people feel about these topics and so they will probably cause arguments or misunderstandings.


First dates are the predictor of how the relationship will be if a relationship eventually does form and grow. The most important thing to remember is to be yourself and to not pretend to be something or someone who you’re not. If the other person does not like who or how you are when you are being yourself, then they are not worthy of your time anyway. Make sure to let it show if you’re having a good time or a bad time on the date. Honesty is key. The conversations are pivotal to how you both will feel about each other. If you bring up topics that cause strong opinions on either side, there can be misunderstandings or arguments. Neutral topics are the best topics to talk about on a first date. If the relationship does continue to grow, eventually strong opinions will come up and these can be worked through if there are differences. Anxiety is inevitable for each person on the date. No matter how nervous you are, the other person is also nervous. You both are trying to make good impressions on each other. You both are judging each other. If it is meant to be, it will happen. If it is not, do not force it to. The divorce rate is high enough as it is and life is too short to waste time on something for no reason.

mariage no no